The ABC’s Balls

This poem was written at a time when the tide started turning for Abbott, as the intrepid 7.30 Report anchor Leigh Sales called him out on his lying.

The ABC’s Balls

The Abbott spent another day

Pushing  bucket loads of spin

While the BHP report

Had the truth, not lies within

So as Abbott claimed the tax constraints

Made investment rather sparse

The truth proved Abbott once again

Was talking through his arse

 

So it’s just as well he didn’t sell it

To buy the lands top job

As the bulk of what he says

Comes from his bum, through to his gob

Which also highlights his problems

Of identifying parts

As his bum produces policy

While his brain produces farts

 

And as the day winds down

From his usual question time spat

He rocks up to the studio

For a cosy little chat

With Leigh Sales from the 7.30 report

who’s there to make the calls

A most unlikely source

for “our” ABC to find some balls

 

But find some balls they did with Sales

In her opening salvo

Asking “weren’t you loose with the truth today”

Giving him nowhere much to go

So as Abbott does when all else fails

He resorted to his spin

Showing once again, that between THOSE ears,

There’s a vacuous space within

 

So the intrepid reporter soldiered on

Quoting Marius Kloppers

While Abbott dug his own Olympic dam

And filled it up with whoppers

And as the spin and bluster freely flowed

And  he continued spewing bile

Our intrepid blond reporter

Cracked  her enigmatic smile

 

Referring back to the report

She quoted Line and verse

And Abbott only blustered

Making him look even worse

So moving to the carbon “tax”

Sales stated once again

“weren’t you loose with the truth here too”

Causing Abbott further pain

 

He tried his slogans “The python squeeze”

And not “A cobra strike”

But he looked like the little Dutch boy

With  his finger in the dyke

And he knew that he was drowning

And his brain was nearly spent

When Sales used his own “Wrecking Ball”

To destroy his argument

 

So he tried to counter her wrecking ball

Going back to BHP

But again she quoted Kloppers

Leaving him nowhere to flee

Then our Hero changed her tack

To the asylum seekers plight

And asked about “Illegals”

Spoiling for another fight

 

So Abbott replied to a question

That Sales didn’t even ask

But Leigh Sales was having none of that

Quickly bringing him to task

Then she asked about pollies lying

And he thought ‘I’ve got this one’

So he started in on our PM

And on the “lies” he says she’s run

 

But Sales asked “are you absolutely scrupulous,

About not telling lies?”

“Of course” he said quickly moving on

As the truth fairy promptly dies

So Sales came back with three examples

Of  how the Abbott lied

And as with the poor truth fairy

Abbotts shredded credibility died

 

With his hole getting ever deeper

And for him no end in sight

He started looking for a door

Through which to plan his flight

Then she asked “If we scratch your surface,

What is it that we’ll find there?”

And his answer showed a vacuum

Filled with naught but smelly air

 

Then the subject changed to our PM

And her time at S & G

And the Abbott thought the tide had turned

And that he was home free

So he started on about some questions

He thought, needs addressing

But Sales asked “what are the questions then?”

And to that end kept on pressing

 

So he pointed to “The Australian”,

The LNP daily rag

And claimed that they were reputable  

The lying little dag

Then she asked if it was right

That his front bench sought an answer

But he dodged and leapt and spun around

Like a manic ballet dancer

 

So she said “alas, there’s more I’d ask

But I’ve just run out of time.”

And Abbott wiped his fevered brow

Thinking “That may be my line!”

So thanks a lot Leigh Sales for calling

Abbott out on his fibbing

And thank you Mr RAbbott

for the gift.. that keeps on… giving

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About Truth Seeker

Musician singer/songwriter, guitar teacher. https://truthseekersmusings.wordpress.com/
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