Tony Abbotts Letter to Santa

This was the second in the Christmas series


Tony Abbott’s letter to Santa

Dear old Santa, now here’s the thing

I’m pretty well off so I don’t want bling

But the thought of losing makes me shiver

So here are some things . . . you could deliver


For Julie Bishop she needs your aid

To find some proof to help put paid

To Gillard and her Labor crew

Who deny the scandal . . . of the AWU


We’ve said Gillard acted illegally

But the cow just sits and laughs at me

Though Julie keeps on throwing mud

It’s me that ends up . . . wearing crud


She needs to find that smoking gun

To get the PM on the run

To help us turn the Labor tide

Before they tan . . . her Gucci hide


And sloppy Joe needs help with maths

Cos he just keeps making mega gaffs

On the state of our economy

Where he’s lost . . . all credibility


And that bloody smart arse Treasurer Swan

Makes sure the economy keeps moving on

From strength to strength with worldwide ticks

While we look like . . . economic dicks


So a calculator that Joe can work

Will stop him looking like a jerk

And something else he’d like to see:

A recession . . . to help his credibility


For Chrissy Pyne, it’s my first choice

That he could get a deeper voice

My misogynist word “Shrill” is working fine

Except HE gets “Shrill” . . . when he starts to whine


His whining and his dummy spits

Are what give laborites the shits

But sadly if I’ve truth to tell

His voice . . . gives us . . . the shits as well


The Mincing Poodle’s his nick name

Making light of the way he plays our game

So a deeper voice would be just great

To help my little . . . fluffy mate


And my mate Pell could use a hand

To support his wholly right wing stand

To help his cause, a Pope’s decree

Would be the shot . . . and might help me


For there’s many there within the church

Who don’t like George’s right-wing lurch

And the separation of Church and state

Is a fluid concept . . . for my Churchy mate


And though he’s a mate a Popes decree

Could keep him there, where he needs to be

For the spin that flows out from his gob

Makes him a genuine threat . . . to take my job


And there’s nothing Turnbull hasn’t got

Except his cred is badly shot

As he promotes my NBN brain fart

Which was my plan . . . from the very start


Cos the party thinks he’s sold his soul

To the centre left and he’s dug his hole

And he’s stuck there now for eternity

Never more to lead . . . the LNP


So a candle would be more than fair

To help him see through his despair

As he vainly searches through his big black hole

To find his long lost . . . right wing soul


And for Sophie, Ashby and Jackson too

I ask some legal help from you

For despite promoting their renown

Their shonky deals . . . could bring us down


So please let charges soon be laid

From the Thomson allegations made

To prove the man’s . . . a Labor crook

And do him . . . like a roasted chook


While Jackson walks away scot free

From allegations made that she

Misappropriated union dosh

To live the lifestyle . . . very posh


And likewise for young Ashby too

Though the judgement dumps us in the poo

Please let his appeal be granted quick

Cos the whole thing makes me feel . . . quite sick


And let her ill-gotten gains stay with Sophie

To offset her moral bankruptcy

And I ask these gifts to clear the way

For victory on . . . election day


And I need to win the electoral fight

Cos Mummy told me it’s my right

With the last one stolen from my hand

By that ranga bird . . . and her rag tag band


So I ask all this . . . for those weary hearts

Who’ve supported me and my many brain farts

And the many times when I’ve run like a rabbit

Yours sincerely . . . Tony Abbott


PS,  Saint Nic, in the Heavenly sphere

You have connections that is clear

And all I’ve asked is you support our spin

To help deliver . . . an election win


And spread your gifts through the LNP

To aid in our great victory

But if these things are beyond your scope

At least, help me get the gig as the first Australian . . . Pope



About Truth Seeker

Musician singer/songwriter, guitar teacher.
This entry was posted in Political Poems and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Tony Abbotts Letter to Santa

  1. foreverjanice says:

    Love this one. Should be put to music and used in the election campaign under, perhaps, a new title such as “Abbott wishes…”


  2. Truth Seeker says:

    foreverjanice, thanks for that, I really appreciate your feedback. 😀

    It must be a week for suggestions about music, someone on another site suggested “Arsegate” the musical 😆 😆

    I’ll keep it mind 😀

    Cheers 🙂 😀 😆


  3. Pingback: Chrissy Pyne, I was outraged by your outrage! | Truth Seekers Musings

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