The Royal Abbott Show!

The Royal Abbott Show!stocks1+

With the farce that is this LNP gov, and the lunacy that is the senate, I though it was time for a bit more silliness from our side.

So here it is:

The Royal Abbott Show!


For those that like a country fair

There’s the Royal Abbott Show

It’s like the one at Easter

Except, only nut-jobs go

Cos they know that what is promised

Will fall short of what they’ll get

But they really couldn’t give a toss

Cos the Abbott’s, Murdoch’s pet


So they come to sideshow alley

And they bring a lot of bucks

Cos they’re all L N P donors

Which shows their judgement really sucks

And they buy a lot of show bags

Cos they’re conned, hook, line and sinkers

By the Abbott and his cronies

Who’re a rabid bunch of stinkers


And there aren’t the usual suspects

Like Bertie Beetle and Freddo Frog

But show bags like “Asylum hell”

And “Abbott’s rabid dog”!

Which are full of right wing goodies

That will help you to aspire

To be like Abbott’s Chrissy Pyne

Or Scotty’s razor wire.


Then there Scotty’s “Sovereign Borders”

Full of vessels that don’t float

And a colouring competition

Where you’ll win your own lifeboat

In a lovely shade of orange

Like a floating High viz vest

And for second prize, some lessons

On, how to really… beat your chest


There’s “The political enemies” starter pack

With untold party tricks

Compiled by their George Brandis

And some other right wing dicks

It shows you how to kill careers

And beat up on your mates

And how to gain the higher ground

By claiming huge mandates


There’s Julie Bishop’s makeup bag

To help you play the part

Of looking like a minister

Whilst acting like a tart

Included is the “Death stare” mask

With eyes all glowing red

But it isn’t really scary

Just makes you look… sick in the head


Hockey’s bag of Budget woes

Is full of big distractions

To help confuse the peasants

And to stop their bad reactions

And it has a calculator

Which is special LNP

Where everything you add up

Always makes… eleventy


And out in side show alley

There are great, fun things to do

Like instead of watching wood chop

You can shovel cattle poo

And when you swing the mallet

And hit the high set bell

You’ll win a meal with Eric Abetz

And think you’ve gone to hell


There’s Bronnies spa and treatment tent

And for every right wing derro

Who hasn’t had the chance to wash

There’s bathtubs full of Kero

There’s super glue to set the hair

And filler for the face

And Guidance for a long career

Without honesty or grace


And Turnbull’s internet café

Attracting right wing fans

Who took his word that the internet

Works fine with strings and cans

And the speed of light is not for us

The cost is just too great

And broadband plans with foxtel

Helps support his mogul mate


There’s Julie Bishops Kissing booth

One thousand bucks a pucker

But don’t eat much before you go

Cos you’ll just throw up your tucker

And Chrissy’s dummy spitting comp

Will always pull a crowd

But you’ll need to bring some ear muffs

Cos he’s shrill… and very loud


A hotdog costs you sixty bucks

And the roll’s another fifty

But they’ll put the two together, free

Cos they don’t want to look shifty

And an Abbott’s slushy will cause brain freeze

Which really isn’t funny

Cos it’s not a drink to cool you down

But a way to launder money


Greg Hunt’s climate change pavilion

Is something to behold

Even though the weathers sweltering

He’s got it freezing cold

He argues that the planet’s cooling

So there really is no prob

But the experts fully disagree

With the lying little knob!


The rides are something else again

The coaster is a doozy

That spins around a pile of facts

Until you’re feeling woozy

And the Ghost train’s run through Menzies house

Is something really hairy

With attacks by the IPA’s ideologues

Is proving truly scary


But the comedy highlight of the show

Is in the main pavilion

And you can get a front row seat

For “just” a half a million

And as you sit on plastic chairs

At the “Abbott’s honesty booth”

The funniest thing you’ll ever see

Is Abbott… trying to tell… the truth!


Menzies House


About Truth Seeker

Musician singer/songwriter, guitar teacher.
This entry was posted in Political Poems, Political satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to The Royal Abbott Show!

  1. bighead1883 says:

    Hahaha and encore applause bow and curtsy,bloody marvelous Truthy 😆
    You have stumped me no end and for once not only have I nothing to add,but there`s nothing I could 😯 😉


  2. Frank Ston says:

    Truthy, that’s a cracker.

    Can’t wait for the sequel featuring, Bananaboy Juice, Dopey Dutton, Warren Hernia-Belt, Screaming Michaela Cash, ‘Watch my mouth move’ Susan Ley, what rich pickings.
    Ta! M8.


  3. Florence nee Fedup says:

    Near me. on the Minor Central Coast Highway, they have put in a speed hump,.. or that is what I think it is suppose to be. on what is no more than a small suburban street.

    It consists of a large area of bricks across the four corners of the cross streets, with a cement surround. It is like a dais, raised about 30 centimetres. In a few days, if has been crisscrossed by rubber from tires, where I suspect the local hoons are using it for some type of games.

    On each side of this crossing, there are signs, about a metre in diameter, proudly announcing the money spent here is a part of Abbott’s Black spot programme.

    What amuses me, I have never seen any accidents in this area., Cannot see why such money needs to be spent.

    Near my home, on the old Pacific Highway to Newcastle there is a couple of kilometres of road, where fatal accidents occur on a regulars bases, the last, last week. Does not seem to be any money for this area.

    I do love the fancy new signs that go with every few dollars spent.


  4. Florence nee Fedup says:

    Shorten managed to get to QT from that funeral., Why not Abbott.

    TS, it is clear, that Palmer is in full control of Abbott’s government., One could say, he has achieved his ambition being PM, Not in name maybe, but in practice.


  5. Caz2 says:

    I’m depressed.


    • Truth Seeker says:

      Caz2, thanks for your comment 😦 but I hope that’s nothing to do with my poem?

      It was supposed to give readers a chuckle at Abbott’s expense 😉

      But if you’re talking about the state of political play, I definitely feel your pain 😦

      I’m now depressed too, as while writing this reply, ‘Turd’och came on the ABC followed by Abbort! 👿 😡

      Cheers 😉


  6. frontad84 says:

    Great buyer. Fast payment. Thanks. A+A+A+A+


  7. frontad84 says:

    Sorry Truthy I must be losing it for the above message which was meant for an EBay Buyer has somehow got onto here when I was actually trying to say that your Poem was a bloody ripper and that it had made my day, and by the way I forgot to say Happy Birthday so sorry late with that too.


    • melaine says:

      Hey Frontad84 🙂
      Love it, hope you were buying something off my listings 😀 but I reckon you have started celebrating the birthday early this year 😉
      Wishing you a wonderful day for Sunday, Many Happy Returns and may your days be full of happiness and love… and custard tarts, of course 😉 😆


    • Truth Seeker says:

      Frontad84 Mate no worries 😀 I figured as much, as it sounded just like some feedback I gave to a seller this morning 😉

      Thanks for your kind words mate, 😎

      WRT my BD, it’s still a few days away… Next Tues 29th to be precise, although we’re having the family get together on sunday, for a BBQ lunch 😀 so I’ll be thinking of you then 😀

      Cheers mate 😀


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