The Royal Abbott Show!

The Royal Abbott Show!

With the farce that is this LNP gov, and the lunacy that is the senate, I though it was time for a bit more silliness from our side.

So here it is:

The Royal Abbott Show!

 

For those that like a country fair

There’s the Royal Abbott Show

It’s like the one at Easter

Except, only nut-jobs go

Cos they know that what is promised

Will fall short of what they’ll get

But they really couldn’t give a toss

Cos the Abbott’s, Murdoch’s pet

😛

So they come to sideshow alley

And they bring a lot of bucks

Cos they’re all L N P donors

Which shows their judgement really sucks

And they buy a lot of show bags

Cos they’re conned, hook, line and sinkers

By the Abbott and his cronies

Who’re a rabid bunch of stinkers

And there aren’t the usual suspects

Like Bertie Beetle and Freddo Frog

But show bags like “Asylum hell”

And “Abbott’s rabid dog”!

Which are full of right wing goodies

That will help you to aspire

To be like Abbott’s Chrissy Pyne

Or Scotty’s razor wire.

😯

Then there Scotty’s “Sovereign Borders”

Full of vessels that don’t float

And a colouring competition

Where you’ll win your own lifeboat

In a lovely shade of orange

Like a floating High viz vest

And for second prize, some lessons

On, how to really… beat your chest

😉

There’s “The political enemies” starter pack

With untold party tricks

Compiled by their George Brandis

And some other right wing dicks

It shows you how to kill careers

And beat up on your mates

And how to gain the higher ground

By claiming huge mandates

🙄

There’s Julie Bishop’s makeup bag

To help you play the part

Of looking like a minister

Whilst acting like a tart

Included is the “Death stare” mask

With eyes all glowing red

But it isn’t really scary

Just makes you look… sick in the head

😛

Hockey’s bag of Budget woes

Is full of big distractions

To help confuse the peasants

And to stop their bad reactions

And it has a calculator

Which is special LNP

Where everything you add up

Always makes… eleventy

😯

And out in side show alley

There are great, fun things to do

Like instead of watching wood chop

You can shovel cattle poo

And when you swing the mallet

And hit the high set bell

You’ll win a meal with Eric Abetz

And think you’ve gone to hell

😦

There’s Bronnies spa and treatment tent

And for every right wing derro

Who hasn’t had the chance to wash

There’s bathtubs full of Kero

There’s super glue to set the hair

And filler for the face

And Guidance for a long career

Without honesty or grace

😯

And Turnbull’s internet café

Attracting right wing fans

Who took his word that the internet

Works fine with strings and cans

And the speed of light is not for us

The cost is just too great

And broadband plans with foxtel

Helps support his mogul mate

😛

There’s Julie Bishops Kissing booth

One thousand bucks a pucker

But don’t eat much before you go

Cos you’ll just throw up your tucker

And Chrissy’s dummy spitting comp

Will always pull a crowd

But you’ll need to bring some ear muffs

Cos he’s shrill… and very loud

😉

A hotdog costs you sixty bucks

And the roll’s another fifty

But they’ll put the two together, free

Cos they don’t want to look shifty

And an Abbott’s slushy will cause brain freeze

Which really isn’t funny

Cos it’s not a drink to cool you down

But a way to launder money

😯

Greg Hunt’s climate change pavilion

Is something to behold

Even though the weathers sweltering

He’s got it freezing cold

He argues that the planet’s cooling

So there really is no prob

But the experts fully disagree

With the lying little knob!

🙄

The rides are something else again

The coaster is a doozy

That spins around a pile of facts

Until you’re feeling woozy

And the Ghost train’s run through Menzies house

Is something really hairy

With attacks by the IPA’s ideologues

Is proving truly scary

😯

But the comedy highlight of the show

Is in the main pavilion

And you can get a front row seat

For “just” a half a million

And as you sit on plastic chairs

At the “Abbott’s honesty booth”

The funniest thing you’ll ever see

Is Abbott… trying to tell… the truth!

😛