Dearest Santa.

Dearest Santa.SantaHello009_300dpi

As the year comes to an end, and the kiddies letters head off to Santa, it’s time for our illustrious   😉   Leader to send off his requests too, so here’s Tony’s wish list/ letter to Santa   😀

Dearest Santa.

Dearest Santa, it’s Tony here

The Australian PM; I wrote last year

Well things have gone from bad to worse

With many calling me “The Abbott curse”

The backbench are revolting and the cabinet are too

And the people are all saying that I’m full of cattle poo

😯

They say that I lied about the ABC

But don’t they understand I lead the LNP?

And uncle Rupes wants the damned thing sold

And the old bugger’s got me in a squirrel hold

So breaking promises doesn’t take guts

It just takes Rupert hanging off your nuts

😥

And he seems to be somewhat discontent

Rupert "The Pirate" Murdoch, Puppet Master

Rupert “The Pirate” Murdoch, Puppet Master

With our implementation of his right wing bent

And I know that some have drawn his ire

With a few in Rupert’s line of fire

But he’ll tell me who he wants to go

Cos he likes to think he runs the show

😯

Which brings me to the salient point

That it’s me who’s left to run the joint

And our polling’s taken quite a hit

Cos Labor says we’re full of shit

So I’m writing this to seek your aid

With some of the problems that we’ve made

😉

Like my signature policy, PPL

That’s given me electoral hell

I compromised, to make it work

But I still ended up looking like a jerk

And now I’ve compromised again

But the people still think.. I’m insane

O_o   :/

My great dilemma is to act with grace

Whilst finding some way to save face

So can you show me how to dump it

Like last weeks mouldy breakfast crumpet

And still come out like a political hero

Before my polling hit a zero

😥

And the budget needs your intervention

With many measures in contention

Like the GP co-payment that everyone hates

Except for big pharma, and my corporate mates

And I don’t see the problem, cos it’s just 7 bucks

But even some in cabinet, reckon it sucks

😦

So I’ve told all the people the co-payment’s dead

And introduced a different co-payment instead

But this one is different, cos the blame isn’t mine

And if the doctors start charging, well that suits me fine

So all I would ask, is you help it go through

Cos no one trust me, but they’ll listen to you

😯

Budget Deliberations

Budget Deliberations

And we tried to tell people the budget was good

But Joe didn’t sell it as well as he could

So we’ll look to remarket it in the New Year

With an LNP flavour of… lies, spin and fear

So a win would be nice for our embattled Joe

Before Rupert decides that he really must go

😉

And for Chrissy Pyne; the boon I would seek

Is that in the next year, he’d have at least one good week

Cos education reform, in the senate it’s blocked

While poor whining Chrissy has gone off half cocked

Cos what he is selling, the public’s not buying

And it’s really quite sad, to see a grown poodle crying

😥

And Mathias Cormann has done a great job

As lies, spin and bull shit flow well from his gob

And sounding like Arnie, for insults, is funny

But it isn’t so good when he’s talking about money

So a more “Aussie” accent would help with his cred

Cos without a good con job, our budget is dead

🙄

And little Scott Morrison stepped up to the plate

To become a target for much bile and hate

A welcome distraction from my own main game

And if it goes pear shaped he’ll be wearing the blame

So I ask that you give him some peace and good cheer

Cos there ain’t gonna be much of either next year

😯

And repealing the carbon tax was one that I won

But world leaders are asking, “WTF have you done”

And instead of great accolades for winning the prize

I’ve given Australia, environmental black eyes

So I know this request might seem a bit strange

But could you please do something to stop climate change?

😉

And for Peta Credlin and Brian, her hubbyCredlin2

Who’ve been trying and trying to have their own bubby

With her keeping her eggs in my office bar fridge

Which proves that for women… I am ridgey didge

So a successful pregnancy would be fine

So long as the little bugger’s not mine

😯

So thanks again Santa in anticipation

Of all of your help, in this bad situation

MYEFO is out and the numbers we’ve fudged

And we’d have looked so much better if the senate had budged

But when the shit hits the fan, next year, I’ve one fervent hope

That it’s still not too late, for an Abbott to be… Pope!

😛

Abbott 1+

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About Truth Seeker

Musician singer/songwriter, guitar teacher. https://truthseekersmusings.wordpress.com/
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15 Responses to Dearest Santa.

  1. Bighead1883 says:

    Dearest Tony
    Get on yer fu(ken bike and take a friggin hike
    Love Santa

    Like

  2. kate ahearne says:

    Love it, Truthie. Especially love the bit about Whiney Pyney: – ‘And it’s really quite sad, to see a grown poodle crying’.
    Anyway, Dear Santa, We’ve been very good girls and boys, so could you please send a Double Dissolution?

    Like

  3. unsimplelife says:

    LOL, love it! 🙂

    Like

  4. bilko says:

    Truthy
    The Martin Place incident which almost had one man with a gun close down a city of n million people must have been an answer to Tones plea to Santa, the countless repeats of his and the other media clowns utterences mostly with zero facts to back them up was over the top. My sympathys go to the hostages and victims who for many hours must have been watching the cafe TV’s with dismay. A sad indictment of the “be alert not concerned” propaganda of the rodents years at the helm.

    Like

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