The LNP end of year party.

The LNP end of year party.scrooge-+

This poem didn’t follow the script I thought it would, due to the events of the last couple of days, with the “reshuffle”, which was not just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, but aiming the ship at a second iceberg to make sure it sinks even faster   😯

So this one nearly became “The end of the LNP’s year”   🙄   , or in fact “The end of LNP”,   😀   but in the interests of doing them slowly, I finally decided  on;

The LNP end of year party


The LNP end of year party,

Was quite a solemn affair

For Tony and Chrissy and Davey the johnson

And Julie and old Helmet Hair

And Malcolm and Scotty and Mathias

George Brandis and Sloppy Joe too

As their poll numbers slide, from bad to worse…

To dumping them right in the poo


But the show must go on, as the thespians say

And Tony was hoping beyond hope

For just one day away, from electoral decay

And everyone calling him… dope!

Cos being PM is much harder

Than he ever thought it would be

With that bloody recalcitrant senate

Making knobs of his “great” LNP


So A Christmas Carol, was chosen

As the end of year party’s main theme

To boost their morale, and give them a chance

To blow off some LNP steam

With Sloppy Joe coming as Santa

And Julie dressed up as an elf

And Abbott as Scrooge, which seemed perfectly fine

As he was clearly just playing himself

:/   O_o

There was Chrissy as poor Tiny Tim

With his crutch, emphasising his limp

Although mentally crippled is more suited to him

He always made a good wimp!

And though the part wasn’t suited

Old Malcolm turned up as Bob Cratchet

With his superior air and oratory flair

Wearing Jeans, and an Armani Jacket


John Howard was the ghost of Jake Marley

Still spouting his old Liberal rot

While Bronny came as Maggie Thatcher,

Cos, once again, she’d lost the plot

And Peta the Ice queen, a right piece of work

Was there; a control freak and witch

While her character was the evil stepmother

Type cast her as another nasty bitch


And to save them some dough, the Christmas do

Was held in old Helmet hairs suite

Where all of their wealthiest backers,

For fund raising would regularly meet

But despite all the joys of the season,

There wasn’t too much Christmas cheer

So Abbott started the proceedings off

With the old…let me be “crystal clear”


Then he talked of their Annus horribilis

A year that they’d rather forget

And he promised next year would be better

Cos the country ain’t seen nothing yet

And he finished with Scrooges perennial line

Of Christmas I say “Bah… humbug”

But Chrissy thought he saw James Ashby

And called out to Jamey… “Hah… bum hug”


Uproar ensued through the assembled crew

As they thought that they’d been infiltrated

By a party pariah who they had to fire

Though once liked… was now widely hated

They searched high and low but he was a no show

As on panic they started to border

Then Bronnie stepped in with her usual spin

Crying there really is no point of order.


But the ghost of the stooge was a poltergeist for Scrooge

And haunted him with Ashbygate

Like the pork sword of Damocles hanging over their heads

Though he’s apparently still Chrissy’s mate

And there was no regret but they’d rather forget

About Slipper, and that rotten stuff

Cos James Ashby you see, could well hold the key

To the gaoling of Tones mate, Mal Brough


So when peace was restored to the party

And dissent was reduced to a murmur

And Abbott the Scrooge, who’s a corporate stooge

Quickly crashed into Australian terra firma

And confronting the fact that his capital’s sacked

And his first year was just a kerfuffle

He announced hand on heart, another brain fart

That he labelled a cabinet reshuffle


But their black mood was set, as the corporates pet

Tried in vain, for to rally his crew

Cos despite wishful thinking the good ship was sinking

And their future was flushed down the loo

So the party broke down as the LNP crown

Slowly slipped to become a choke collar

And they left Bronnies suite sadly dragging their feet

On the back of their love for the dollar


And no presents were shared cos the Liberals were scared

At the prospect of annihilation

Cos the problems you see are the old LNP

And their adherence to policy constipation

With the reshuffle given, and communities riven

For the vulnerable that they’ve been stalking

And the truth for his mob is they’ve done a bad job

And the whole lot are just dead men walking


Titanic +1 -14425420-1200-794


About Truth Seeker

Musician singer/songwriter, guitar teacher.
This entry was posted in Political Poems and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to The LNP end of year party.

  1. bilko says:

    Truthy Thruthy,
    another fine piece of prose, you will soon be up for nomination as OZ’s Poet Laurete possible even Knighted in Tones New Years OZ honours list. merry christmas all and may the force be with us all.


    • Truth Seeker says:

      Hey Bilko 🙂 thanks for that mate 😎 although I think I’m more likely to be on an ASIO watch list than an Abbott awards list 😯

      Either that or and Abbott hit list 😀

      And a very merry Christmas and new year to you and yours 🙂

      And I do believe the force is with us! 😉

      Stay safe and well mate 😀

      Cheers 🙂


  2. jagman48 says:

    Merrry Christmas Truthy hope you have a good one. We need a good break to get back into the fray.


  3. johnlord2013 says:

    Merry Christmas Mr Truth Seeker. May your work reach greater

    heights in the new year.


  4. Bighead1883 says:

    Ah Truthy 🙂 you`ve done it again and the LNP Xmas Lament is just the Chaff Bag of Cement they need to send their Titanic blunder asunder O_o
    Your meme skills are an encouragement to all mate 😆


  5. consider says:

    We are looking forward to the release of the Blockbuster Movie ” The LNP end of year party” next year. The mind boggles as to who will be the lead actors. Any suggestions?

    To you and yours Truthy and to all Truthseekers, have a safe and merry Christmas.
    Cheers 🙂


    • Truth Seeker says:

      Hey Consider 🙂 mate, whoever they are they’ll have to be bloody good actors to act that stupid! 😯

      Mate I hope that Christmas is all that you and the lovely Considerette could wish for 🙂

      Take care, and stay safe and well 😉

      Cheers mate 🙂


  6. Denise Murphy says:

    Geniys, thanks for cheering me up. Hope a “johnson” still means what it used to.
    All the best for the New Year.


    • Truth Seeker says:

      Denise, welcome to truth seekers 😀 and thanks for your comment 😎 feedback and good wishes 🙂

      Yes, that’s the meaning I was alluding to 😀 I hoped that my readers would pick up on that little play on words 😉

      I hope you have a merry Christmas and a safe and happy new year 🙂 and I do hope you can join our conversations again 😎

      Cheers 🙂


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