The Waffling Wanker from Wentworth

The Waffling Wanker from Wentworth

Now although this poem is about the Pernicious Prince of Point Piper; as an avid observer of the human condition, I felt compelled to share an observation that I made about one of his co-conspirators in the coup   😉    and I don’t think he’s the only one, as I’ve started to notice this phenomena in other LNPee’ers as well   😕

After watching Snott Morescum give his Press Club address, I came to the inescapable conclusion that we are run by absolute morons.   😯

Now this may not come as any grand revelation,   😛   except that there seems to be a pattern emerging   😉

So why, you may ask, did I come to that inescapable conclusion?   ❓

Well, it appears that LNPee’ers naturally take on the Characteristics of their (And I use the term loosely) “Leaders”   😯

I distinctly remember under Abbott; Morescum and the rest of the mendacious mob of miscreants repeating Abbott’s much discussed and even more despised “three word slogans” Ad-nauseam,   😡   , and now after only five months of the Turdball’s tenure, Morescum,  who was always a wanker, is now himself a waffler too   😯

And quite frankly, of late, waffling is about all that LNPee’ers seem to do.   😛

Now, I’m sure that part of the problem is that waffling is a logical next step, when a politician has no bloody idea WTF they’re talking about, and it’s further compounded by the fact that they have no clear policies,  and are being done over by a very policy proactive Labor party, that’s leading the debate on many fronts   😯   , but that certainly isn’t the whole story!   😉

But I digress   😛

The Waffling Wanker from Wentworth

 

The Waffling Wanker from Wentworth

Said, for the economy, I am your man

The Abbott is just a pretender

He can’t do all the things that I can

I’m a man for all seasons with a million good reasons

Why everyone should vote for me

It’s not rocket science to show your compliance

Cos I’m fabulous you will agree

😀

I will run a new government for all the people

My tenure will be hailed a success

Unlike all those that have gone before me

I promise I won’t make a mess

And it’s natural to think, that my shit doesn’t stink

And a rainbow is all I can fart

I’ll be honest and true, a good guy through and through

Cos I’m a rabid right lefty at heart

😉

My credentials are clearly outstanding

And my character far from reproach

As a captain you’ll never find better

And there’s no one who’s a better coach

I’m an orator supreme, and a voters wet dream

A repository for national pride

I can fix all our ills, while appeasing the dills

And I can probably hold back the tide

😯

My millions I’ve stashed in the Caymans

My investments are all at arms length

But I don’t avoid paying my taxes

Cos minimisation’s my strength

I’ll be clear and precise, and really quite nice

And as always incredibly calm

While I take up the fight for my mates from the right

As we sell off the family farm

😛

But there’s no need for deep consternation

Cos you know I’m the one you can trust

To get a fair price for our assets

And to pay down our debts, as we must

Cos we emptied the vault, though it’s all Labors fault

As with money they have no idea

And they haven’t yet learnt, that they’ll always get burnt

By my verbal and fiscal diarrhoea

I’m the bard of the right wing agenda

A regular Shakespeare am I

I’m that good, I’ll sell ice to the Eskimos

And my forte is pie in the sky

Like my fabulous broadband, that Labor calls fraudband

You all bought it all,  hook line and sinker

As my fibre to the node, was the lie mother load

And what I’ve delivered’s a stinker

😕

But you cannot blame me, it isn’t my fault

The Abbott’s the one you should blame

He told me to wreck Labors fine NBN

Which I thought was really a shame

But blowouts and debt, are the best you will get

Till the legacy of Labor’s no more

Cos the copper, you see, is a long way from free

And I’ve already shown fibre the door

😛

And my plan is to win the election

Cos I know that now, it’s my shot

And if Abbott can do it then anyone can

Cos Abbott’s a rambling clot

And I’ll easily win, with some media spin

And the backing of my LNP

Cos I’m the prince of Point Piper, and a political viper

And the truth is…  It’s all about me!

😀