Sloppy Joe’s a jumper?

Sloppy Joe’s a jumper?Hockey1+

And as poet laureate to the G20 ( self appointed   :grin:   ), I felt it my duty to also cast a spotlight on the other Australian major player (and I do mean player   :wink:   )   at the G20.

The acting ( and I do mean ‘acting’   :shock:   )   Co-host, Treasurer ( and I use the title ‘Treasurer’ with tongue firmly planted in cheek   :wink:   ), Sloppy Joe Hockey, is the one that is there to guide the worlds finance ministers through this most important economic forum… WTF?   :shock:

And as the last day gets underway, and we are all still reeling from the gross embarrassment and cringe-worthiness of the Abbott’s foray into domestic political whinging on the world stage,  despite the worlds condemnation of his previous efforts in this area, we have to concede three things about Abbott and Hockey;

  1. They are both liars   :shock:
  2. They are both idiots   :shock:
  3. They never learn   :roll:

And on those bombshells…

Sloppy Joe’s a Jumper


Sloppy Joe’s a jumper

Which is somewhat over size

But it’s also our fat treasurer

Who really takes the prize

For grossly overacting,

Economic lies and fear

For shedding lots of crocodile tears,

And verbal diarrhoea

He says that economically

There’s nothing he can’t fix

But the truth is, he’s just one of many

Liberal party Dicks


A man of grand proportions but,

Little brain capacity

Which makes him just a perfect fit

For the Abbott’s LNP

He suffers self-aggrandisement

He thinks he’s really smart

Whilst trying to sell his budget

Which was just a big brain fartsmoking1

He talks of heavy lifting

While he smokes his fat cigars

Of lifters and of leaners

But he’s talking through his arse


He wants to slug the unemployed

And pensioners as well

The frail, the sick and vulnerable in his

Version of right wing hell

He’s nasty, mean and tricky with

Austerity his only tool

Proving he’s no intellect

Just an economic fool

He danced around his office

King for a day, but a DICKHEAD forever!   :evil:

King for a day, but a DICKHEAD forever! :evil:

When he brought his budget down

To “This is the best day of my life”

The rabid right wing clown


But the country wasn’t dancing

Cos it took a massive hit

From the fat man we call Sloppy Joe

And his budget, full of shit

He said we need co-payments to make

Medicare sustainable

But not one cent goes to Medicare

Proving, of crap, his budget’s full

He screams “Budget emergency”

And of our “Massive debt”

Which they’ve doubled since they came to power

And they haven’t finished yet


They’ve ordered very expensive planes that

Have question marks around,

How well the bloody things perform

When you get them off the ground

They’re called a “Joint” strike fighter

But its partner we can’t buy

Which is really bloody stupid

Cos its the one we know can fly

And the only firm conclusion

When we wonder what’s the point

Is that before they signed the contractimages

They must have smoked the bloody “Joint”

:shock:   O_o

And Sloppy Joe’s a jumper

Cos he quickly “jumped” on board

With right wing nut-jobs round the world

To sell their austerity fraud

And trickle down economics

Which is his ideological dream

Even though most respected economists know

It’s a right wing nut-job scheme

With no real sound foundation

To redistribute the wealth

Except to those that need it least

By dishonest right wing stealth


And as he steps up to the mike

To spruik his bad agendas

The world will see quite clearly that

We’re led by mad truth benders

With Abbott talking domestic fails

And Hockey much the same

They’re such a great embarrassment

And to Australia’s shame

Their policies are old and bad

They haven’t got clue

And Sloppy Joe like Abbott are,

Just full of cattle poo!

O_o   ^^’

Sloppy Joe’s Job creation scheme… WTF?

Posted in Political Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 58 Comments

When the Abbott goes bad!

When the Abbott goes badPick the madman

As the self declared poet laureate  for the G20, I felt it my solemn duty to highlight some of the qualities of our Illustrious   (   O_o   :/   ) PM, and chair of this important economic forum.

With the political discourse of the last few weeks focused on his “Shirtfronting” threat to arguably the most powerful man in the world, and the world in general wondering WTF he was thinking (Almost certainly… Not much?   :shock:   ), I thought it was only fair and reasonable that we should cast the light of scrutiny on the man who could make such threats, and his ability to follow through?   :roll:

My first endeavour in the aforementioned “Self appointed” role was a mere entree, to the main, and did promote some response; of a poetic duelling nature with Kaye Lee from the AIMN.

Here’s the Entree:   :wink:

“When world leaders speak
Conversations are started
But when Abbott speaks
The world asks… ‘Who farted?’”     :shock:   

And the ensuing replies can be found here:

When the Abbott goes bad.


When the Abbott goes bad

It’s really quite sad

For the voters to see

That we’ve all just been had

Can people really be this stupid Nyahahahahahaha.

Can people really be this stupid Nyahahahahahaha.

As he set out to fight

With the Russian named Vlad

And the people have realised

That the man’s raving mad

O_o     o_O

For the world it’s a joke

That we’re stuck with this bloke

With a heart of marshmallow

And a brain made of oak

Who ignores facts and reason

To support wealthy folk

Whilst he’s giving the masses

A hell of a poke


He’s a CC denierAbbott CC

A spin merchant town crier

Who’s driving our country

Into the deep fryer

Hiss agenda is clear

From the mates that he’ll hire

He’s a dickhead supreme

And pathological liar


He encourages fear

As he talks through his rear

While locking our country

Into reverse gear

While all of the experts

He refuses to hear

And when taken in context

His stupidity’s clear


As PM he’s a knob



Who’s not fit for the job

And most women will tell you

He’s an ignorant slob

Who has little control

Of his dribbling gob

Who’s misogynist attitude

Is not worth two bob


His credibility’s shot

As he talks nought but rot

As he leers at Lib women

Thinking they’re really hot

But just look at the Bishops

And you’ll see that they’re not

But then rubbish looks good

When it’s all that you’ve got


He’s called the mad monk

The Abbott ot Downunderton Abbey

The Abbott ot Downunderton Abbey

He’s a middle aged punk

He floated his policies

But most of them sunk

And in his red budgie smugglers

He exposes his junk

Though he’s far right, his budgie

Leans left… who’d a thunk


He’s a man for the past

And he’s running us last!

In the race to the bottom

The man’s really fast

He’s devoid of all reason

And his malice is vast

As he beats up the poor

Leaving millions aghast


As the G20 startsvillage-idiot

Sense and reason departs

With Abbott proudly haling

His policy brain farts

Showing Abbott’s LNP

As mere corporate tarts

With his economic incompetence

Rating well… off the charts

O_o     :/

And It is really sad

That the Abbott’s so bad

But it’s now plain to see that

That he is raving mad

He’s a nut-job par-excellence

And demented a tad

And when he’s thrown out

We’ll all be very glad



Posted in Political Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Aspen aid… WTF?


Aspen co founders Glenn Keys and            Dr Andrew Walker

Aspen aid… WTF?

Why am I not surprised?   :roll:

After weeks of procrastination and lies, about the reasons why Abbott and his LNP have been MIA on Ebola, and loads of pressure from many 1st world countries, friends, allies, and others, asking for Australia to engage, what does the Abbott come up with?

Another way to hand over 20  million of tax payers $’s to a few mates, many of which have question marks  (Joining the dots, another fine article by Kaye Lee on AIMN) over their dealings.   :twisted:

So the question is… WHY?

Well, there’s probably many answers to that question, like:

  • Because he can!
  • Because he will take any and every opportunity to give our money to his mates!
  • Because Aspen Medical has donated $$$$’s to the right wing nut-jobs cause… so he owes them!
  • Because he likes outsourcing… pretty much everything including overseas aid!
  • Because it’s just another rung on the privatisation ladder!

To name but a few?   :wink:

And if you’re in any doubt bout the path he’s taking us down WRT the likes of Aspen and other “Independent” health service providers, take the time to watch this video about what’s happening to what was once the National Health Service in the UK, and play spot the similarities!

(Brought to our attention courtesy of one of our valued, regular contributors, Jim AKA Driftwood12   :-)   )

This should serve as a huge wakeup call to all Australians, as to the direction that our “Free, universal health system is being taken, by the rabid right, and I know this to be true, as My sister in the UK has been telling us what’s been happening there for years now, and the bad direction in which they’re headed.

And as an aside, we’ve also just seen “HARPIES BIZARRE” laud “Medusa”

Medusa Bishop

Medusa Bishop

Bishop as… Australian Woman of the year?   WTF?   :shock:

They must have forgotten  all the diplomatic stuff-ups?   O_o    And with her history of involvement in representing CSR against those dying of Mesothelioma, as a result of exposure to asbestos, I’ not sure she even qualifies as… HUMAN?

But then this is just one of many examples of the MSM trying to boost the poll numbers of their “Team Australia”, in the vain hope that they can make this mendacious mob of malicious misfits, palatable… Shit sandwich anyone… Anyone?

But I digress   :shock:   Surely not?   O_o

So why is it that when we are suffering that elusive “Budget emergency”, Including, but not restricted to, Hockey’s $51 billion black hole, we are spending $20 mill on providing health workers and associated logistics via a private “For profit” organisation that will almost definitely take the lions share for administration costs, and then spend the majority of what’s left on local, untrained workers for a pittance, when we have a large contingent of well trained Aussie volunteers, who will receive little or no gov support for their efforts?   :mad:

And while our highly trained, professional and ready for action “AUSMAT” teams sit idly by, the question is;

Aspen aid… WTF?



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“Trickle down” environment policy… WTF?

“Trickle down” environment policy… WTF?

 Evolving from DICKHEAD TO DICTATOR, in record time!

Evolving from DICKHEAD TO DICKHEAD DICTATOR, in record time!

What’s with the rabid right, and their obsession with the idea of “Trickle down” policies?

During the start of the GFC when Rudd announced his stimulus package, the LNP were up in arms about handing out money to the poor and disadvantaged, along with the HIP (Home Insulation Program), and the BER (Building Education Revolution), which despite all the rhetoric from the rabid right, were hugely successful programs that did exactly what was required at the time, to keep Australia’s economy powering along through the GFC, saving many thousands from the unemployment queues, and supporting small businesses.

Of course, the LNP’s only offering was to talk down the economy, and the measures implemented, while offering their only option of giving money to the big end of town, in the hope that they wouldn’t take the handouts and;

  1. Buy themselves a new Merc or Beemer, to replace the old one.   :wink:
  2. Buy another investment property.   :razz:
  3. Buy some expensive jewellery for the wife, or girlfriend.   :roll:
  4. Send the kids on an overseas holiday.   :-)
  5. Open a bank account in the Cayman Islands.   :shock:

But rather invest in employing some of the great unwashed!   :lol:

Luckily for us, while the LNP’s economic policies were nothing more than stupid, and recognised as such by most economists, and anyone with half a brain or more, we had a government that did the right thing for the country, which when all is said and done… Is what we employed them for!   :shock:

This naturally upset the rabid right,   :shock:   so ignoring the GFC, and the reason for it, and the financial mess that we pretty much, completely avoided, they set about … well… LYING!

And not just lying, but planning their revenge.   :twisted:

Fast forward to 2013, and with the mendacious Murdoch and his News Corpse on board, they lied and spun their way into government, and set about exacting their revenge, utilising their own version of “Trickle down”… everything!


George Braindead AKA "The sherrif of NOT"

George Braindead AKA “The sherrif of NOT”

Starting from day 1, they tested the waters, when Peta Credlin let too much alcohol  “trickle down” her scrawny neck, by putting pressure from the highest law officer in the land, the newly appointed AG Braindead, to a lowly Magistrate, who then determined that Credlin had suffered enough, and gave her a slap on the wrist and sent her home, where after declaring that “Justice doesn’t need to be done, just needs to be seen to be done” (WTF?   :shock:   )   I’m sure she went home and let some more alcohol “Trickle down”!Tony Shepherd1

After that success, they branched out into more “Trickle down” policies like their commission of audit, where they appointed one of their mates to make sure that the right conclusions trickled down to justify their cuts and broken promises.

Then they went for trickle down Justice, announcing enquiries and Royal Commissions into unions, the HIP scheme etc, using the tried and true method of appointing more mates to achieve the best justice and outcomes money can buy them   :shock:

And despite their best efforts, some Real justice has and will “Trickle down”,   :shock:   like the exoneration of Julia Gillard, although you’d never know it if you bothered to listen to the ramblings of our illustrious AG, George Braindead!   :twisted:

Gina5And now we see them practicing trickle down environment policy, where they pay the biggest polluters, in the vain hope that if WE, give them enough money we might make our pathetic targets of 5% reductions by 2020… WTF?   :roll:   

So while the world looks on in disbelief and disgust at the pathetic policy direction of  this, the most pathetic of excuses for a government; the truth is that the only thing that is and will continue to “Trickle down”, is the utter bull shit that dribbles from the mouths of our Prime Moron and his mendacious team, and then “Trickles down” their chins.   :shock:

So Tony, while the world looked on in admiration, at the way we weathered the GFC – that many countries are still trying to overcome – due to the early intervention that we employed with our stimulus package, and then likewise with our early intervention in dealing with the biggest dilemma facing the world… Climate Change, you and your mob;

  • Cried foul.
  • Said that climate change was… “CRAP”!
  • Called the Carbon price… “Toxic Tax”, “Wrecking Ball through the economy”  etc.
  • Lied about its impact on household budgets.
  • Claimed “$100 roasts” as a result of it.
  • Said that towns like Whyalla would be wiped off the map.
  • Etc, etc…

Abbott CCAnd now, as the world plays catchup on climate change; Australia, courtesy of Abbott and the LNP, have gone from 1st world leader… to 3rd world leaner,   O_o   propping up the fossil fuel industry, and paying money and homage to those that are, and continue to be, in many ways responsible for the catastrophe  that our planet is now facing!

In 1956, London was declared a smokeless zone, and coal was banned in favour of coke, as one of a number of environmental measure to clean up the smog… And clean it up, they did!

So is it any wonder that when Abbott declared recently that… “Coal is good for humanity”,  the world, collectively, shook their heads at our stupidity!

And if the country of his birth knew the dangers of “Coal” in the 1950′s, why in 2014, can our neanderthal Prime Moron Abbott continue to deny the facts?   :?:

And why is it that in the 21st century, when the science is in and the predictions for the future of our planet, are dire, and time is running out to do what needs to be done, the only option Abbott and the LNP will entertain is;

Trickle down environment policy… WTF?

An oldie but a goodie!    :grin:

An oldie but a goodie!   :grin:   and so applicable!

Posted in Political Articles | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

When only tin cans and a string will do!

When only tin cans and string will do!071127-MalcolmTurnbull-c83d7dd4-7a4b-49d5-b4d6-07e082dd963c_thumb[1]

As I watched the lying Turdball in QT taking his usual dishonest and arrogant approach to his portfolio, quoting his own brand of rubbery figures to show that they are the ones to deliver 25 mbs,  (WTF?  what happened to 100mbs or even 50 mbs?)  And his  report telling us that most households will be happy with, and only need  15mbs, a few things occurred to me.

Why is it then that it’s perfectly fine and reasonable to provide the citizenry of Aus, with the third worlds best practice broadband   :shock:   , when;

  1. He’ll happily invest  his own money, in first world fibre to the premises.   :twisted:



  2.  Abbott, is spending millions, on an armoured Beemers, when for a few grand, he could have bought decommissioned “armoured personnel carriers”.   :razz:
  3. They are spending billions on  a “Joint” Strike force plane with big ?’s over its abilities to… well… fly amongst other things   :shock:
  4. They are spending billions on road infrastructure, for the 20th century, even though we’re in the 21st century???   O_o
  5. Abbott is buying a bigger and better executive airliner to carry all his rich mates around the world with him?   WTF?   :mad:
  6. Abbott’s “signature policy”, is a gold plated PPL scheme to predominantly benefit the people who need it the least?   :/
  7. They are spending millions on Royal Commissions, which are nothing more than political payback?   :twisted:

And the waste and mismanagement just goes on and on and on…

So why is it that when it comes to the LNP, who are employed by us to do what’s in the best interests of the country and its people, we are told we have to tighten our belts and go economy class, while the LNP fat cats and their mates go first class at our expense?

The truth is that although the 7 examples above are cited with tongue somewhat in cheek, if and when Turnbull, for example, goes to buy or lease a new car, his personal priorities would dictate which brand and type of vehicle would be most suitable.

Now we know that dear old Malcolm, doesn’t suffer the financial constraints that the vast majority suffer, and I don’t claim to know what car/cars he owns, but I would venture to suggest that if he wanted:

A high performance sports car, 

Subaru WRX STI

Subaru WRX STI

He could choose from;

  • Subaru WRX STI  premium, for around    $60,000?
  • BMW M5 for around $230,000?
  • Any Aston Martin, Range around; $230,000 – $510,000?
  • Audi R8 up to around $400.000 ?

    Ferrari 458 Italia

    Ferrari 458 Italia

  • Bentley, up to around $665.000 ?
  • Ferrari, range around $460.000 – $700.000 ?

To name but a few, so hands up who thinks he’d buy something like

Volvo s 60

Volvo s 60

the WRX?

A safe luxury sedan,

  • Volvo from around $60.000 ?
  • Mercedes S class, Range $200.000 – $400.000 ?RR Phantom
  • Bentley $450.000 – $670.000 ?
  • Rolls Royce $610.000 – $1,020,000 ?

In his place, would you choose the Volvo ?


Great Wall x200


  • Great Wall X200 for around $26.000 ?
  • BMW X5 range $83.000 – $150.000 ?
  • Mercedes GL class range $ 130.000 – $220.000 ?


    Range Rover Vogue

  • Range Rover range $170.000 – $240.00 ?

Would he even consider the “Great Wall”  option?

A small runabout,

Chery J3

Chery J3

  •  Chery J3 around $16.000 ?
  • Mini range $27.000 – 40.000 ?
  • Volvo V40 around $40.000 ?
  • Mercedes A class around $40.000 ?


    BMW 1 series

  • BMW 1 series around $40.000 ?

Would the Chery get a look in?   :wink:

The reason that I have made these comparisons, is that if you compare the price difference, between the cheapest brand in each category, and the brands someone like Turnbull would consider, you can clearly see that the better options are in almost all cases at least double the cheapest option, and in most cases much more than double, and in some cases up to a factor of 10 or more.

And if the safety and security of your family was at stake, and you could afford it, I have no doubt that you too would happily pay that premium to future proof your loved ones, giving them the comfort, safety, security and piece of mind that comes with the latest and best technology.

So the question is why, in the age of communication, when Australia is one of the richest countries on the planet, with extremely low levels of debt (despite Abbott and Hockey’s best efforts to prove we have burgeoning debt, by pretty much doubling it in 12 months), we cant buy the best available for the sake of future proofing our country’s communication technologies?

Or to go back to my car analogy, why are we being given a “Chery J3, while the rest of the world are driving a Merc S class or similar?

And Malcolm, why is it that for you and your LNP “mates”   :?:   , it’s nothing but the most expensive and best, yet “When… it comes to Australia… Only tin cans and a string will do?”

Turdball's NBN Technology

Turdball’s NBN Technology

Posted in Political Articles | Tagged , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Tony, you’re a carbuncle on the arsehole of humanity!

Tony, you’re a carbuncle on the arsehole of humanity!Arse1

This poem was written, as a response to the LNP bypassing the senate, to introduce their own version of  a… “Carbon Tax” on fossil fuels,   :shock:   and their culture of lies, spin, cheating and secrecy.

This current iteration of the LNP are undoubtedly the scum of the earth, and the worst government this country and arguably the “free” world, has ever seen!   :evil:

Tony you’re a carbuncle on the arsehole of humanity!


Tony you’re a carbuncle

On the arsehole of humanity

Your mendaciousness and stupidity

Are really self-explanatory

Your policy direction screams

“There’s questions about your sanity”

And parading in your “Budgies” says

You’re over endowed… with vanity


You lied your way into the job

Of leader of our nation

With a party full of nut-jobs who

Suffer policy constipation

Promoting fear and loathing

And a lot of consternation

Whilst calling for “Mature debate”

And “Adult” conversation


A pugilist misogynist

With very little skill

Who’s proved that on the world stage

He’s a diplomatic dill

A hypocrite extraordinaire

A multinational shill

And though you’ve had just over twelve months

We’ve already had our fill


You’ve shown that for the parliament

You’ve nothing but contempt

Believing when it comes to rules

Your LNP’s exempt

With a party full of Catholics

Who really should “repent”

Cos through their gross dishonesty

Their credibility’s spent!


You’re full of stupid slogans

And the old “Right wing projections”

Whilst beating up the vulnerable

Promotes Liberal erections

And pandering to your mogul mates

Takes us in the wrong directions

With money your only priority, and

The object of your affections


You’ve subverted our democracy

To realise your ambition

By talking down our economy

Which many call sedition

You’ve lied and obfuscated

With the goal to cause division

But the main thing you’ve achieved is

International derision.


You’re a pigmy of an intellect

And an economic klutz

And not a visionaries bottie hole

You inhabit 50’s ruts

Who when confronted with truth or facts

Responds with dissenting “buts”

And while blind supporters think you’re great

The rest just think… you’re nuts!


Your arrogance is astounding

Cos you’re nothing but a tool

Used by 1percent’ers

You’re an ideological fool

You think you are a leader

But you’re just a right wing ghoul

Who’s line should be ejected

For the human genome pool


With nought but warped priorities

And very sick agendas

You’re a party of self interest and

Wasteful, rorting spenders

Where jobs for mates are now the norm

Ignoring public tenders

And the Abbott’s not a PM’s fart

He’s the Prince… of all truth benders


Abbott's head1+


Posted in Political Poems | Tagged , , , , , | 12 Comments

Tony, shit doesn’t just happen… It’s now the norm!

Tony, shit doesn’t just happen… it’s now the norm!

As our troops now prepare for “NON” combat rolls in Iraq, after sitting on their hands in the UAE for a month, I’m reminded of that great quote and display of sensitive humanity by our erstwhile LOTO, and sadly current Prime Moron, Tony “Humanitarian bombs” Abbott, who when talking about the death of an Australian soldier said;

“Sometimes shit happens!”

Not only was he displaying gross insensitivity, and a preview of his lack of diplomacy, he was also showing us a glimpse of the future.   :shock:

The truth is that hindsight is a wonderful thing, but with what we already knew about the Abbott, that statement should have been  ringing alarm bells for all Australians!

Cos from what we’ve seen in the last year +, of the Abbott/Murdoch regime, we can now say with all confidence that if there’s one slogan that’s a metaphor for Abbott; it’s… “Shit Happens!”

The one positive that can be said for Abbott is… He’s consistent!   :shock:         Consistently bad that is.

Now, since Abbott first showed up on the political scene, the only skills he displayed, were those of lying, and as a head kicker/ political thug… and he’s never changed!   O_o

And therein lies another red flag, for the poor deluded souls who voted for him, cos if he hasn’t changed (grown up) by now, he never will!   :wink:

This was again emphasised by his continued use of inflammatory language, which may be ok when it comes to the sports field, but certainly not the kind of language to be used when dealing, on the international stage, with the president of a super power, or in fact any world leader.   :shock:

He promised many things before the last election, and I’m not about to re-list them here,Open for business but suffice it to say that with Tony “bover boy” Abbott (You want some bover?… I’ll give you some bover!), everything he said to get elected was shit, and everything he’s tried to do since is shit, including amongst other things, his;

  • vengeance based Royal Commissions, designed to shit on the ALP and the Unions.
  • stupidly hypocritical and arguably illegal Operation Sovereign Buggerups, designed to shit on our international commitments, international laws, asylum seekers, and human rights.
  • Foreign Policy agenda, designed to shit on our international relationships and  reputation.
  • National Security agenda designed to win the redneck vote, whist turning our social cohesion, our civil rights and national security to shit.
  • industrial relations policy designed by moguls and the IPA, to turn our working conditions to shit.
  • commitments to Murdoch, turning our NBN to shit.
  • general economic policy incompetence, turning our manufacturing to shit.
  • ideologies, turning our confidence to shit.
  • lies, secret agendas and general dishonesty have shit on our democracy.
  • despicable “Fudge-it” that promises to shit on the poor and most vulnerable, and ultimately shit on Australia.

So the one thing that we can say with confidence to Abbott and his Lying Nut-job Party is;

Tony, shit doesn’t just happen… It’s now the NORM!   :shock:

Abbott 1+

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